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THE WORLD OF modern sex and dating comes with its own cultural lexicon, with frustrated singles coining all kinds of new slang to describe their experiences, from ghosting to love-bombing to fleabagging to cushioning to sneaky links to foster boyfriends.
If you’ve been out of the game for a while, whether you’re in a relationship or just taking a break from the apps, some of these may sail right over your head. But there’s one piece of slang that’s been around for so long you will almost certainly have heard it before: cock blocking.
What is “cock blocking?”
Cock blocking refers to the act of a third party preventing two people from having sex, by either physically or metaphorically getting in the way.
It’s the basic setup of a great many sitcom episodes and bedroom farces, where two people intent on getting it on are interrupted by somebody who, knowingly or not, is playing third wheel.
Where does the term come from?
The phrase has been in use for decades. It is believed to have originated as a slang term among Black teens in South Central Los Angeles; this is where it was first recorded by linguist Edith Folb, who defined cock blocking in her book as “to mess up a dude’s action” in her book Runnin’ Down Some Lines: The Language and Culture of Black Teenagers .
In the following years, “cock blocking” entered common parlance, appearing in dialogue in films like 1999’s Lost & Found and 2007’s Superbad, eventually becoming so widespread in pop culture that it informed both the premise and the title of the 2018 comedy Blockers, which follows a group of parents going to increasingly extreme lengths to prevent their teenage daughters from losing their virginities on prom night.
Is cock blocking an offensive term?
In short… not really. And there’s technically nothing out there to stop women from using the term and co-opting the phallic imagery for themselves. That said, while references to cock blocking in pop culture are usually lighthearted, the language of the phrase is arguably outdated at best. Cock blocking is nominatively centered around male pleasure and its prevention; to put it literally for a second, the blocker is getting in between the penis and its intended target. In other words, it objectifies the person you’re trying to have sex with, which isn’t hot.
Slang comes and goes, and it’s not always going to be politically correct or line up with modern values. It is worth noting, however, that fear of being labeled a cock blocker from their fellow men might prevent some guys from stepping up when actual harassment is taking place.
The 2012 paper ‘#HowWillIChange: Engaging Men and Boys in the #MeToo Movement’ noted: “Men’s reluctance to intervene may also be related to fears of being negatively viewed by their male peers, who may accuse them of being a ‘cock block’… or label them as ‘weak,’ ‘wimp,’ ‘gay,’ or ‘less than a man,’ thus calling their heteronormative masculinity into question.'”
Listen, maybe it’s not that deep. But if somebody happens to be playing gooseberry while while you’re trying to get laid, think twice before you brand them a ‘cock block.’ Not only does it make you sound entitled, it also makes you sound like a high-schooler.
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