While medical gaslighting isn’t necessarily intentional or nefarious, it can still lead to harm. If your health care provider is doing this, they might…
Frequently interrupt you or seem to come to a conclusion before you’ve finished sharing your symptoms Ignore other possible causes, even when treatments don’t help Minimize or downplay your symptoms Seem skeptical or question whether you’re telling the truth Attribute your symptoms to generic things, like mental health or weight, or say they are a “natural part of aging” Who is most likely to experience medical gaslighting
There are a few factors that really ramp up your chances of experiencing medical gaslighting. One is that you don’t fit the stereotype of what a health care provider thinks a person with those diseases or symptoms “should” look like. Dr. Carter points to a survey of Black people with ALS, which found that a common struggle people faced was overcoming doctors’ ideas of what they thought an ALS patient looked like. “People think of ALS as a ‘white man’s disease,’” says Dr. Carter, and when clinicians get stuck on a certain image, people who don’t fit that pattern have a harder time being believed.
Then there is the dreaded, “You look healthy.” As a teen, doctors told Sarah Elisabeth, now 26, that the problems with her legs were due to growing pains; her bladder and digestion issues were caused by stress (and various mental health conditions); and she was a “whiny” attention seeker. Despite seeing at least a dozen health care professionals and specialists, her symptoms worsened over the years, and she slowly began losing her ability to walk. When she was working at a metal shop and her arm would go numb and she’d drop her tools, her doctor said she “must be sleeping wrong.” Toward the end of 2022 doctors finally discovered the true cause of her ailments: She had tethered spinal cord syndrome, a condition in which the spinal cord stretches abnormally. It was the cause of all her neurological issues, and after she had surgery to fix the problem in 2023, she felt immense relief (and even gained an inch of height in her neck).
What you can do if you think you’re experiencing gaslighting
While you can’t control whether or not a doctor will take your symptoms seriously, there are still things within your control. Here are steps you can take before, during, and after a medical appointment to counter any medical gaslighting.
Do some prep work before appointments.
It’s good to know exactly which points you want to hit with your doctor before you see them, Keisha Bentley-Edwards, PhD, an associate professor in medicine at Duke University School of Medicine, tells SELF. Dr. Iyengar recommends that you don’t recite a litany of symptoms and instead stick to the top three concerning points that you’d like to address. Having clear and concise timelines to share with your providers for when symptoms started and how they progressed, and what treatments have already been tried, is also helpful.
Don’t be afraid to switch providers and ask for a second opinion.
To find a good doctor, tap into your networks, ask your friends if they’re happy with their primary care physicians and see who people have good experiences with. Dr. Bentley-Edwards says that when she’s getting a referral from her doc, she asks them for “someone you would send your favorite sibling to.”
Trust your intuition.
“If you feel like you’re not being heard and things are not being taken seriously, you’re probably right,” says Dr. Iyengar. And that baseline feeling is already a sign that maybe you should seek out a different doctor—not necessarily because that first one was definitely wrong, but “what’s really important is that you trust your physician, and that you trust that you’re being heard.”
Advocate for yourself—or find someone who can.
When you are dealing with pain, exhaustion, or other symptoms, it can feel so hard to keep pushing for answers. Experts across the board recommend bringing along someone you trust, like a family member, to an appointment. When you’re in pain, “you’re not always in the right mindset to advocate for yourself,” says Bastion. That second person can be there to take notes, ask follow-up questions, or to just back you up when you’re being dismissed.
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