Somebody Somewhere Recap: Getting Real Cutie
By
Maggie Fremont ,
a freelance writer who covers TV and film
Porch Lyfe
Season 3
Episode 3
Editor’s Rating
5 stars
Well, well, well, if it isn’t Somebody Somewhere giving the people exactly what they want. Or, excuse me, what they need. I know this is only the third episode of this season, but I have already been saying to myself that there is not enough Sam and Joel goodness. And these days, as the opportunities to experience their heartfelt and hilarious friendship dwindle, we really need the Sam and Joel goodness. Somebody Somewhere was never going to hold back on us. Come on, this is a show in which a discussion about how one friend feels comfortable pooping at another friend’s house and it is actually kind of a lovely statement about a safe, loving friendship full of trust; What other show can pull off something like that? Somebody Somewhere understands that a friendship this warm and delightful is magic; You’ve gotta play the magic card when you have one.
“Porch Lyfe” perfectly builds up to this big conversation between Sam and Joel (this episode was written by Lennon Parham and directed by Robert Cohen) by basically putting Sam through just a tiny bit more hell, making it nearly impossible for her not to have a meaningful chat with her best friend. The Sam Miller we met in the pilot would bottle up all of her feelings and pretend like everything’s fine. The Sam Miller we know now has opened herself up to real friendship and she trusts that friendship enough that she isn’t afraid to be vulnerable with Joel.
When you’re feeling really down on yourself, it turns out the absolute worst place for you to go is to the doctor’s office. Alas, when Tricia sees Sam limping and wincing in pain, she makes her promise to go see someone. The doctor is complicated for Sam. “Our sister walked in there fine, and then she walked out with cancer; I’m not interested,” she tells Tricia. So there’s the fear from what happened to Holly, but also, as we see once Sam makes good on her promise, that hey, maybe she’s also avoided the doctor because going to the doctor when you’re in a bigger body makes the whole situation ten times worse. As a person in a bigger body, yeah, why the hell can’t we make bigger paper gowns? It’s already an exercise in reminding yourself of your own dignity. Could we not just get the smallest of assists in this endeavor? Sam’s already feeling like a piece of shit, so I cannot imagine having to physically hold her gown strategically in place helps her shake that feeling in any way. Her doctor is nice enough and genuinely seems to be on Sam’s side, but I don’t think that much matters at this point. When she calls later to tell Sam that yes, she has arthritis in her knee, her blood test results weren’t great, and that she really needs to make some lifestyle changes, Sam clearly absorbs that information as a referendum on her worth as a human being, even though it is very much not.
Right up there with Doctor’s Office for Worst Places to Go When Your Self-Esteem is Crumbling is “Awkward Run-ins With Men.” Sam has two such run-ins. First, she discovers Iceland having a beer at the bar she’s been working at and engages in another awkward, maybe-flirting conversation with the guy. Well, I guess “conversation” is the wrong word since that implies more than one person is talking, but you know what I mean. She asks him if the book he’s reading is good, and when he says, “I’ll let you know,” she replies, “That’s okay, I don’t read,” and then goes on to clarify that she knows how to read. She just doesn’t do it. Sam walks away from that run-in feeling like she was an absolute disaster (she was), but what she doesn’t know that we do is that Iceland definitely seems interested in his own Icelandic way.
She also has a brief but terrible moment with her ankle-monitor neighbor when he, free of that ankle monitor these days, pulls up to his house with a date while Sam is hanging out on her front porch. She goes from thinking her front porch situation is “cutie” to a real “you do not look good, you do not look good right now” admonishment of her person. It’s a shame because Sam can do better than Ankle Monitor, and also, her front porch situation was “real cutie.” Believe in yourself, Sam! At the very least, believe in your porch!!
So this is where Sam is emotionally when Fred and Joel stop by the bar after Catch Club to make sure she really did have a shift at work and wasn’t just skipping out on baseball. Fred doesn’t stay long since he can’t really drink or partake in tots since he’s on Susan’s diet these days. As much as he grumbles about it, when Sam notes that it must be nice to have someone looking after him — something she’s been grappling with since realizing her doctor might actually be the only person who’s said she would look out for her — he agrees. It’s nice to be somebody’s person.
Sam hasn’t seen Joel since his housewarming party, when she left after Brad brought up her financial situation. Joel takes in the dive bar, learns what a Vizzy is, and even gets a first glimpse at Iceland, who arrives at the bar to drop off his check (something Sam did not ask him to do — he likes likes her!!). When he asks Sam if anything is wrong, she brushes it off, pretending everything is just fine.
But you can tell she doesn’t want to pretend. She wants to be honest with him. So, she invites him to go “fuck up some doughnuts” after her shift is done. Sam’s a little hesitant, but eventually she broaches the subject of Brad and what he said and how it made her feel so, so small. She trusted him with personal information and she hates that he shared it with Brad. “I really hate thinking about you guys sitting around talking about how to fix me,” she says, her voice shaking. Sam is putting herself out there in such a huge way for her. Is it weird that I was so proud of her?
Joel is a little shocked to hear it but then immediately makes sure that Sam knows she doesn’t need to be fixed. Sam lets everything spill out: The doctor gave her a list of what was wrong with her, Susan told her that she is “bringing Fred down.” “I already do enough thinking about what’s wrong with me.” Joel responds exactly how you’d expect him to: “Nothing is wrong with you, and seriously fuck Susan.” It’s not a long conversation, no one is crying or yelling, but it is such a lovely encapsulation of what friendship, especially Sam and Joel’s, is all about: being open and vulnerable and trusting that the other person will be there to catch you and lift you up when you need them to. And also deep throat a doughnut and flip off your mortal enemy in a picture should you ever feel like sending them a little fuck you. Now, if that’s not real cutie, then I don’t know what is.
• Joel is still very much adjusting to living with Brad. He’s finding it hard to get used to spending so much time with one person, and Brad seems almost painfully earnest. He is very sweet about his deep affinity for puzzle swaps, but you can already see Joel getting annoyed. My man is going to have to take a page from Sam’s book and actually talk to Brad about how he’s feeling, or his top is gonna blow.
• Fred and Joel point out that the piano and mic are sitting mostly unused at Sam’s bar. Oh, you know, by the end of the season, she’ll be performing up there. We are in for it in the best way possible.
• Surely Sam will continue making fun of Tricia for being deadly serious about manifesting success, but also, Tricia’s manifesting does seem to be working. She joins a country club for the networking (both professional and personal) and lands a big client by using a little gumption. Could it be the year of Tricia?
• Sam teasing Tricia for hoping to pick up men at the country club: “I can’t wait to go home and type in ‘popped collars and khakis’ into what makes me wet dot com.”
Somebody Somewhere Recap: Getting Real Cutie
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