Parents spend an average of 30.4 hours per week on scheduling and planning for their children and … [+] family.
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The mental load of parenting—the unseen labor involved in managing a household with children, from planning to scheduling and overseeing daily activities—has long been recognized as a significant time investment for parents. A new study has quantified this invisible work, revealing that if U.S. parents were compensated for their mental load, it would equate to a staggering $3.8 trillion in economic value.
Conducted in collaboration between Harris Poll and Skylight, a company specializing in family-sharing products, the survey asked 2,000 parents about the hours they spent on different mental load activities. The findings revealed that the average parent invests about 32 hours weekly in this unseen labor. If these parents were to be compensated for their efforts at the median hourly wage in the U.S., they would each earn an additional $60,000 annually. When extrapolated to the millions of U.S. households with children under 18, this amounts to a staggering $3.8 trillion in economic value.
To be clear, this does not include the time parents spend playing with their children, but instead the time they spend planning, including managing schedules, planning holidays and breaks, and figuring out meals. More than half of parents surveyed reported spending more time on the logistical parts of parenting than on the joyful ones.
Specifically, parents reported dedicating 259 hours annually to scheduling-related tasks. This overwhelming time commitment stems from families receiving an average of 17.5 weekly communications about their children’s activities, totaling over 900 messages annually. These updates are the result of the children’s average of 11.5 weekly activities.
Additionally, parents spend 100.2 hours annually on holiday and break planning. With many parents who must work during school breaks and summer vacations, coordinating activities or childcare becomes a daunting and time-intensive endeavor.
The mental load also includes thinking about day-to-day needs of the household and worrying about the health and happiness of the family. More than a quarter of the parents surveyed, said they had completed an internet search on the tooth fairy’s going rate for a tooth and what color baby poop is normal.
Who bears the brunt of the mental load? On average, all partnered parents say they carry more mental load than their spouse—which is mathematically impossible. Nonetheless, it speaks to how burdensome the cognitive load is for all parents. Primary caregivers (78% of whom were moms) report carrying 75% of the mental load in their household, and non-primary caregivers say they take on 56% of it.
Moms spent more mental energy making sure their kids had clothes that fit and staying on top of medical forms for the family. Dads were more likely to report focusing on the family finances.
The mental load involved in scheduling significantly impacts parents, straining their relationships with each other. Many parents revealed that the extensive time devoted to organizing activities detracts from time spent with their partners. Nearly half report that these scheduling issues lead to arguments and miscommunications. Almost one in four have turned to couples therapy specifically to manage the stress and challenges posed by family scheduling demands.
Academic researchers have also found adverse outcomes associated with the mental load, including sleep problems, exhaustion and work conflicts. However, one notable study found a silver lining, indicating that the effects of carrying the mental load weren’t all bad. These researchers found that those who took on more cognitive load, including thinking about and remembering family needs, were happier with their family life and reported better job performance. Nonetheless, even these researchers conclude that the negatives of bearing the mental load still outweighed any positives.
Skylight has released an online calculator for parents interested in figuring out how much time they spend on these activities and how much they’d be paid for their time spent scheduling and planning.
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